Breast feeding has proved very challenging. Kylee doesn't seem to eat efficiently. I think she is still kind of weak. I am going back to the lactation consultants tomorrow to weigh her and I will see if they can give me some advice. It has been taking her close to an hour to eat. Needless to say I have been exhausted. Sometimes I pump and feed her a bottle to give myself a break.
Well anyway back to the stinky. Last night I fed her at 11:30 and she didn't really finish until 1:00! She was very fussy. So when she wanted to eat again at 2:30 I decided to give her a bottle of formula. I felt incredibly guilty for doing it, but I was too tired to feed her again. I have been surprised how emotionally exhausting breast feeding can be. I feel like I don't have what she needs, etc. So when I changed her diaper this morning, it was so stinky. Now I remember one of the reasons that really like breast feeding.
To all of you moms out there: did your babies want to be held to fall asleep and then wake up an hour or two later and want to be held while he/she slept? I was watching Bringing Home Baby today and they just put their newborns in the bed and they fell alseep. How unfair! Of course I didn't have Kylee during her first week. Maybe when they are newborns they do sleep that much? Kylee was on drugs to keep her from pulling out her IV's and oxygen during the first couple of days so she was always sleeping.
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1 year ago
11 comments:
hi rebecca,
I've been reading you blog for awhile and it's been cool to keep up with what you've been up to. congrats on your baby girl! my first one is now 10 months old and I thought I'd just share what worked for us as far as her sleeping, just so you have another point of view. every baby is different so who knows if it will help at all-!
we followed the advice of the book "Babywise" by Gary Ezzo, which focuses on the long term good of the baby rather than the short term ease (of course there are exceptions too). so regarding sleeping, actually the first step is to get good feedings into the baby (which it sounds like has been challenging for you too...sorry to hear that). after "regulating" their hunger patterns sleeping pretty much settles into it's own rhythm, believe it or not. at the beginning we would let her cry to fall asleep when we were confident she wasn't hungry or had a dirty diaper, etc, and was just crying cause she didn't know how to fall asleep yet. but she learned! that's the whole "long term" idea. now she goes down pretty much without much fuss and will take 2-3 long naps each day plus 11+ hours of sleep each night (it's really paid off!). it's not an easy thing to let them cry (I'm sure you know what I mean!) but sometimes I'd even put on headphones and listen to music and know we were doing the best for her in the long run. it's not any kind of formula or prescription, just what worked for us, so I thought I'd share! thinking of you...
Jonah was TOTALLY like you describe. For over two months he would not sleep without being held or snuggled. But now he is 3 1/2 months old, and he is able to sleep on his own finally. I promise, it gets easier. Now I'm so glad I got to snuggle with him so much when I had the chance! I'm sure it won't be long before he's all grown up and embarrassed by it.
A couple things that helped us: 1. Swaddling. At first we thought this technique wouldn't work because he kept kicking the blanket off, but a friend of mine mentioned to me only swaddling the arms, and it worked like a charm. And 2. the Moby wrap. Jonah LOVES the Moby wrap. He would fall asleep in it everytime, and I had my arms free to do almost anything. Of course, you could try different slings and wraps and see what Kylee likes best.
Look for things to get better around the three month mark. We found that was the case with both our kids. And all this will be a big blur in your memory. Take heart!
Rebecca,
Jackson loves to be held and has his days and nights mixed up. Of course, we cuddle him all day long so he doesn't like to be put in the bassinet at night.
You are not alone. Feel free to call me anytime. We are usually up at midnight and 4 a.m. for feedings!
Love you guys!
Jama
I had to remember that my babies were snuggled TIGHT in my womb for at least 4 months...so it was no wonder they felt at ease snuggled in my arms (swaddling them really tight also worked). Now, I know some people are going to gasp at this, but we let our babies sleep in our bed some nights just so that we could get some sleep too. It was never restful sleep because I was always aware that they were there, but better than the rocking chair! Still to this day I get Carlee up to feed her before work and then lay down in our bed and feed her while I get a few more minutes of shut-eye.
One of the things I learned after we had Courtney was to listen to my instincts. Feed her when she's hungry, lay her down when she's sleepy; but don't fret over a schedule or time, especially in the first 3 or so months. That made things soooo much easier with Carlee. Every baby is different. Just like Jonathan can read a book about being a better husband, it isn't a book about being YOUR husband. Baby books are good, but you have to take what works and trash the rest.
Best of luck!
Cherish the snuggly times and the holding times. I held Abriella a lot especially for naps in those first 3-4 months. As a previous post said, they are used to being held and rocked and nice and snug while in the womb, so it's a tough adjustment in this world. Give her several months to figure things out. It really does get better. The baby-wearing is a great idea as well! Allows them to be close to you, but you can still get things done if you want to. I read a lot of books (not baby books!) while holding her, so I just enjoyed the time with my feet up and holding my baby. Or, I'd take a nap with her in my arms. I don't really think babies understand the crying it out at such a young age, and when they cry, they usually do need something, even if that is just being close to you. But, I think every baby is different, and some will fall asleep on their own, but others don't. Abriella goes through stages. Sometimes she likes to be just put in her crib awake, but many times she still likes to be rocked to sleep. I try to enjoy it now, because I know she will NOT want to do that forever, and I'll miss it one day for sure!
Oh, and breastfeeding is definitely a challenge! I agree with that wholeheartedly, but it DOES get easier! I didn't enjoy many of those first weeks of it (I've told you this before), but it gets so much better, and she will get more efficient at the breast as she gets older, and she won't just want to stay there all day and night. But, she likes to be close to you now. She doesn't care is she's eating or not, but she likes to be close to you, and you're also the best pacifier she knows!! Hang in there! She loves you so much! You're doing a great job!!
OH, swaddling is another huge thing that helped us! We swaddled Abriella for naps and nighttime for almost 5 months. She wouldn't sleep any other way. I highly recommend it! We did it just like Happiest Baby shows, and we had even been given a couple of big blankets (by someone that actually teaches Happiest Baby classes) that were the exact dimensions for the perfect swaddling blankets. Good luck!
Hi there! I found your blog thru Jennifer's. So, first of all, Congratulations!
Just to repeat some of what has been said and let you know what worked for Jenae. We would swaddle her tightly! Just like the nurses taught us. During the day she would often nap on me after feeding...of course, I also enjoyed naptime. As she got a little older we'd put her in her crib during the day. At night, she slept in her pack 'n play in our bedroom. After a feeding Jordan would always wrap her up again tightly and put her in the bassinet.
We also received as a gift one of those teddy bears that has "womb sounds." I wasn't so sure about it, but we used it and she always slept fine. In fact, once she started sleeping 6+ hours at night we moved her into her bedroom and crib and Jordan and I missed the sounds of that bear.
Also, we didn't do a lot of rocking with Jenae. If she fell asleep, we'd just lay her down. Even as she grew she got to where she preferred to be stretched out in her bed to sleep, not with someone holding her. It worked for us because she later didn't expect a big nighttime routine.
More than you asked for, but hope it helps or at least helps you realize that each kiddo is different and you will figure out what works best for you!
Blessings!
Debbie Hubbard
Lots of great advice here! Jonathan was very difficult in the beginning. Breastfeeding is surprisingly more difficult than most people think. It takes a few months to get things down. Yes, all of mine, in the beginning took about an hour to breastfeed. With the first one I was very frustrated, with our second, not so much and this time not nearly as much! Alex is now eating so fast, I am wondering if he is getting all he needs. It is a constant roller coaster, but so worth it! Don't feel bad for giving formula now and then, she's getting fed and that is what is important. I wish I could write more, but my babies are calling!
Hang in there, dear friend. You all are going to be fine, and Rebecca, you are a WONDERFUL momma! You are doing great.
Hi Rebecca, this is Sarah. Congratulations on your little Kylee! I love her name. We had a boy in June, we named him Kase. Isn't motherhood amazing, its the toughest and most rewarding aspect of your life! I breastfed as well, I have an idea of what you are going through. Kase and I had a late start, he didn't latch on until he was a week old, I found a lactation consultant that was heaven sent. She helped me keep my sanity! I was also told that I was starving my baby, it is so harsh to hear. He was not satisfied, I thought that maybe he had colic. After 2 months of hour long feedings every 2 hrs., I starting supplementing. I would breastfeed for 10 min. and then offer him a bottle. What a difference it made! He was a completely different baby. Much more content. I stuck with breastfeeding for 4 months. He preferred the bottle (it was easier for him) and pretty much weaned himself. after that i pumped and gave it to him in a bottle until i slowly stopped producing. I am so glad I got to breastfeed, it was so special for me, but i think i took it too personal that he was not thriving. Everyone is different so i can only tell you what i experienced. but when your baby isn't thriving on what everyone is tellin you is best is so hard. Breast milk is best when you have enough. i didn't for some reason or another and i had to come to terms with that. i'm telling you this because i want you to know that you are not alone, that it is tough and TRY not to feel guilty about anything you do for your baby! You are her momma and YOU know what's best. we are still in coleman oklahoma, my parents moved to Burnet TX, i often think of you when i pass through. One of these times when i have a long trip planned, we will have to meet somewhere, i would love to see you and Jonathan and Kylee!
I hope things are a little better for you now!
Hadley was just like this while I was nursing him. I was really concerned that he wasn't getting enough breast milk but everyone assured me that he was. Turns out I was only producing about 2.5 oz so he was really under weight. Tyson's family wouldn't let me do formula so I basically sat around breastfeeding 24/7. With Bethany, the same thing happened except rather than ignoring the signs, our new dr. diagnosed her with failure to thrive and the ER drs said I needed to get her on formula immediately. It was the relief I needed and the freedom to not feel guilty bc my superstitions were confirmed. Don't feel guilty! Go with your gut. You can always breast feed during the day and do formula at night or start on breast milk and 30 minutes later give a bottle. No one said you have to exclusively breastfeed or bottle feed. My dr. said a combination is best.
My kids still crawl into my bed every single night at 5 and 2 years old. Neither has ever slept through the night consistently. Most babies who sleep on their own are trained to do so and I just don't have it in me to do that. :\
Hope this helps,
Holly Moulder
amensista.blogspot.com
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